Have cloistered self and successfully reevaluated life. Although I'm sad that most of my friends hadn't notice (but for my lovely munkeigh, thank you munkeigh), I'm going to be a happy camper from now on because I will have direction, motivation, and fun. Today is the start of my new life.
3.08.2004
OK, instead of physically retracting that last blog, I'm going to suck up the bitterness and take it back.
I will not resort to a hermetic life to avoid communicating my feeling to others. My bad for blaming him for all my issues with men. Will learn to have more pointed, logical arguments and less scary defensive haranguing.
It's so hard being more emotionally mature. I would so rock in high school right now. :)
I will not resort to a hermetic life to avoid communicating my feeling to others. My bad for blaming him for all my issues with men. Will learn to have more pointed, logical arguments and less scary defensive haranguing.
It's so hard being more emotionally mature. I would so rock in high school right now. :)
3.07.2004
3.05.2004
I guess that bout of depression can never be truly diagnosed--it is spring time, 70 degrees outside, sunny, windy, and it's a Friday (officially the weekend in my mind). Whether it's the spring, the day, someone slipped me a happy pill without me knowing it, or Munkeigh is in a bad mood--I'm one happy girl today! Yay the world.
Anywho, lots of seduction plans in the midst recently - 2 of these have worked out so far for my friends. One though troubles me....How does one gracefully grab a guy into the house, pull down his pants, and give a blowjob, without scaring him away? Very difficult, for the slow and smooth kind of seductress, so this would have to be an M.O. shift.
Anywho, lots of seduction plans in the midst recently - 2 of these have worked out so far for my friends. One though troubles me....How does one gracefully grab a guy into the house, pull down his pants, and give a blowjob, without scaring him away? Very difficult, for the slow and smooth kind of seductress, so this would have to be an M.O. shift.
3.03.2004
Yay! I can even play Pathetique Sonata!
You are Schroeder!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
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You are Schroeder!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
3.01.2004
I had an epiphany sometime around 3am this morning--I am extremely tired of being taken for granted. As much as I spout my evil ways and how much I hate people and how they should all die a resoundingly painful and drawn-out death, I'm really a nice person and go out of my way to help out my friends. But I need to watch out for the ones that are manipulative without even thinking about it, the bastards.
2.27.2004
Argh. My brain is stuck in a loop, and the theme song for the day is Toxic by Britney Spears. I cannot get this disgustingly awful piece of pop crap out of my mind!!! If this self-inflicted torture doesn't end soon, I will have to resort to physical means of stopping it--banging my head on my desk or powerdrilling a la Pi.
On a good note, my cold is clearing up and am getting lots of attention from a guy I...could...possibly...have a crush on. At the same time, I will not put much in it--he is, after all, a man, and like a magpie, is easily swayed by the shiny.
On a good note, my cold is clearing up and am getting lots of attention from a guy I...could...possibly...have a crush on. At the same time, I will not put much in it--he is, after all, a man, and like a magpie, is easily swayed by the shiny.
2.26.2004
Finally went to the doctor today and got my requisite chewing-out because I was sick. As if I would come to the doctor if I were well. Anywho, got my meds, various bundles of allergy drugs, and an upcoming appointment for "bloodwork." Maybe I've watched too much Buffy and Angel, but this creeps me out. Entails a lot of splitting of parts, examining of counts and such. Oh, sickly sickly me.
2.25.2004
Urgh, my head is about to explode. Damn my sinuses and damn useless decongestant. Well, this leads to my promise for Lent:
I will give up excuses.
Other people give up ice cream (too easy for me), sugar and coffee (way too hard for me), or just outright fast (oye, cranky cranky G). Nope, for me, true good will come once I stop procrastinating or judging and just do what I have to do, no excuses. This will cover many excruciating decisions and actions that I've been putting off, such as:
--going to the gym more often
--going to the doctor when I am sick
--eating properly because it would take more time
--looking up info on the Maryland bar exam
--keeping in touch with my emotionally distant and expensive relatives
--paying more attention to other fun things I could be doing because I'm too anxious about my decrepit love life
So far, so good. At least I've scheduled an appointment to get sinus medication. Hopefully, this will not lead into a downward spiral of drug reliance. (Hmmm, taking Tylenol PM repeatedly to get to sleep is a good thing! Maybe a little Scotch to make me more sleepy! Who needs a liver?)
I will give up excuses.
Other people give up ice cream (too easy for me), sugar and coffee (way too hard for me), or just outright fast (oye, cranky cranky G). Nope, for me, true good will come once I stop procrastinating or judging and just do what I have to do, no excuses. This will cover many excruciating decisions and actions that I've been putting off, such as:
--going to the gym more often
--going to the doctor when I am sick
--eating properly because it would take more time
--looking up info on the Maryland bar exam
--keeping in touch with my emotionally distant and expensive relatives
--paying more attention to other fun things I could be doing because I'm too anxious about my decrepit love life
So far, so good. At least I've scheduled an appointment to get sinus medication. Hopefully, this will not lead into a downward spiral of drug reliance. (Hmmm, taking Tylenol PM repeatedly to get to sleep is a good thing! Maybe a little Scotch to make me more sleepy! Who needs a liver?)
2.24.2004
2.23.2004
A friend of a friend is the coolest non-but-very-potential friend one can have, so I just wanted to introduce the amazingly funny and insightful DJ Ross, a good reason for women to move to LA. :)
2.22.2004
Another reason for castration and a wish to inflict pain equivalent to pain inflicted....this ass has a better chance at finding someone decent than most women in general. Not to mention that he has someone more than decent now and he is still blogging about this girl.
Are men just clueless or are they truly sadistic? I am so tired of being the psychological doormat for guys who are infatuated with women that are not me. Will fight hormones with solitude, as men suck and the ones that don't only want women that think they suck.
Two years worth of solitude doesn't sound so long.
Two years worth of solitude doesn't sound so long.
2.21.2004
Yay! Had fun at party regardless of nasty rough rednecks in 80s gear. Got to hang out with friends, introduce my coastie friend to Munkeigh, got to play lots of pool (miss that pool table), and found peace with the midget. I'm really starting to like my circle of friends, and am amazed that forced socialness works.
Hmmm, so many things to do today and only want to lie in bed, snuggling with a sleepy man. Sigh. But must:
-Buy cat food. Above all, must not starve the babies.
-Buy wedding shower present...what starts with a Z? Ooo, bedsheets!
-Attend wedding shower of coworker with other co-workers....not too enjoyable, but OK, must do the part.
-Attend mardi gras party that may either be wonderfully fun, or lame a la Hero Clix. God, please make them keep the Hero Clix under wraps.
Hmmm, so many things to do today and only want to lie in bed, snuggling with a sleepy man. Sigh. But must:
-Buy cat food. Above all, must not starve the babies.
-Buy wedding shower present...what starts with a Z? Ooo, bedsheets!
-Attend wedding shower of coworker with other co-workers....not too enjoyable, but OK, must do the part.
-Attend mardi gras party that may either be wonderfully fun, or lame a la Hero Clix. God, please make them keep the Hero Clix under wraps.
2.20.2004
Am very tired and need to reprioritize life--will try that sleeping, eating, and exercising thing. Yeah, that. Also need to revisit meaning of life, but that is another blog altogether. :)
Sadly, this revelation is not due to the need to be alert for 8am meeting, but to be alert for dramatic events at llama's party tonight. Am expecting much mischief and sexual tension between midget and his seductive mistress. He he, can't wait.
Sadly, this revelation is not due to the need to be alert for 8am meeting, but to be alert for dramatic events at llama's party tonight. Am expecting much mischief and sexual tension between midget and his seductive mistress. He he, can't wait.
2.19.2004
2.16.2004
Pheromone withdrawal is a bitch.
I've decided that I'm a druggie--I suspend my life and sneak around just for the yummy, sweet scent of certain guys. I actually get a fun little high and lots of distancing from real life issues. And when I leave that safe haven, I'm all cranky and out of sorts, planning for the next buzz. Damn my animal lusting. Argh.
Luckily, I have my ever-good panacea--Weezer (Happy 12th! Yay!!)
I've decided that I'm a druggie--I suspend my life and sneak around just for the yummy, sweet scent of certain guys. I actually get a fun little high and lots of distancing from real life issues. And when I leave that safe haven, I'm all cranky and out of sorts, planning for the next buzz. Damn my animal lusting. Argh.
Luckily, I have my ever-good panacea--Weezer (Happy 12th! Yay!!)
2.14.2004
Happy Valentine's Day!
As cynical as I am, I still love Valentine's Day. The thought of it at least. The merchandising...not so much. Although I am glad to say that I was very surprised and happy to receive roses from...*drum roll*....my brother. He forgets the big holidays, and I haven't received a real present for my birthday or Christmas for a couple years now, but he remembered that my boyfriend of 5 years is no longer, and so it was sweet of him to send me something. Yay for big brothers!
So far, the day is going well:
1) I received a drunk dialing last night from a guy friend at 2:30am and then an apologetic voice message this morning. Sadly, I was flattered and am going to give him chocolate.
2) My friends' social lives are becoming very active, although it seems they get what they want and don't want it any more. Hmm.
3) Have forgiven and forgotten Munkeigh's unintentionally pointed comments (i.e. the man for me that I will never meet and the gloating over my lack of social life). Have accepted sad state. *sigh*
4) My dad came home from his trip to the Philippines with loads of yummy food. Love the yummy pastries.
5) Have plans to go to the gym for some long-needed working out--after I digest the yummy pastries.
6) Guaranteed long weekend promotes further plans of partying hard.
Life is good.
As cynical as I am, I still love Valentine's Day. The thought of it at least. The merchandising...not so much. Although I am glad to say that I was very surprised and happy to receive roses from...*drum roll*....my brother. He forgets the big holidays, and I haven't received a real present for my birthday or Christmas for a couple years now, but he remembered that my boyfriend of 5 years is no longer, and so it was sweet of him to send me something. Yay for big brothers!
So far, the day is going well:
1) I received a drunk dialing last night from a guy friend at 2:30am and then an apologetic voice message this morning. Sadly, I was flattered and am going to give him chocolate.
2) My friends' social lives are becoming very active, although it seems they get what they want and don't want it any more. Hmm.
3) Have forgiven and forgotten Munkeigh's unintentionally pointed comments (i.e. the man for me that I will never meet and the gloating over my lack of social life). Have accepted sad state. *sigh*
4) My dad came home from his trip to the Philippines with loads of yummy food. Love the yummy pastries.
5) Have plans to go to the gym for some long-needed working out--after I digest the yummy pastries.
6) Guaranteed long weekend promotes further plans of partying hard.
Life is good.